My post about doing the right thing despite the consequences never came to fruition...  the words just never came.  But, the bible is clear that truth should ALWAYS prevail.  Remember that!

"I know your deeds. See, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut. I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name."  Revelation 3:8


Every now and then the Lord knocks us down a few pegs.  Often, even as believers, we forget that we are the created not the Creator.  He made us for His purposes, not ours.  Many days we spend time praying and praying for an outcome that we are SURE is according to His will, but He reminds us that His ways are not our ways.


I've recently experienced such a situation. I thought that a door was opening, but it appears as it is going to be slammed in my face.  It's OK.  I understand the way this works and I have learned from it. 


1. I have learned that God really IS in charge and that He can for sure use all things for good according to HIS purposes. (Roman 8:28)  Sometimes I want things to turn out for MY purpose, but if God allowed that, then what would I learn.


2. I've learned how evil the tongue can be. Here is a full list of what the bible says about taming your tongue.  Don't deceive yourself, as I did, in thinking that you are looking out for someone when sharing vital information.  I allowed myself to be deceived and I am very sorry for it. 


http://www.openbible.info/topics/taming_your_tongue


3. I am not alone.  The Lord puts people in our lives to guide us and lift us up. Through the fire, I've been prayed for by some very loyal and lovely folks.  I often feel as though I don't deserve their friendship, but know how wonderfully blessed I am for having known and been in their presence. 

"Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing." 1 Thessalonians 5:11.  I am truly thankful that the Lord has allowed me to walk with them.  They've taught me so much.  

4. Finally, the Lord is not finished with me yet.  While I make myself sad over the circumstances, I know the Lord is working things out.  He even says so! 

"...being confident in this that He who began a good work in you will carry it on until completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6  I am a work in progress.  While I am a 43 year-old woman, I've only been a believer in Jesus for a little more than 8 years.  So much has happened and often I joke that I'm on fast-forward.  

There is a lot about what's happened, though, beyond myself that truly saddens me which is the root of all the drama and  nightmare, but this is a fallen world.  As soon as Eve took the fruit, and as soon as Adam ate it, sin began to dwell among us.  This is a terrible place, and I urge you to be cautious because the devil can disguise himself as light and deceive you. "And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light." 2 Corinthians 11:14.


Spiritual warfare is real and rampant now more than ever. Ephesians 6:12 says, "12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places." 

BUT, we know that Good already has triumphed.  In the meantime, look to those doors.  Right now, I feel as though a door is closing and my heart breaks because I thought it was a door that I loved.  God knows what is best for me, and He really may be pushing me in a new direction, or He may not.  I really won't know until I get there. "I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace.  In this world you WILL have trouble.  But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33. 

My prayer today is to trust Him.  I've spent 2 1/2 weeks suffering physically and worrying from events that have occurred, but I realize that is needless because He is really in control of His Creation.  The bible tells us "therefore there is now no condemnation in Christ." Romand 8:1.  So, if you find yourself feeling as I do, remember this. What's done is in the past.  When you belong to our Savior, God does not see you as a sinner. He sees His Son.

Proverbs 3:5-6

New International Version (NIV)

 ⁵ Trust in the LORD with all your heart
   and lean not on your own understanding;
⁶ in all your ways submit to him,
   and he will make your paths straight.


Let's look carefully and be watchful.  Be blessed today and be a blessing!

Christmas 2010

Love Hope Faith Religious

Unique party invitations and announcements by Shutterfly.

View the entire collection of cards.

The root of the problem....

Why is it that sometimes, my mouth has a mind of it's OWN?  Usually I am quite quiet, but sometimes, just sometimes, I'm not.  It's like a pressure pot.  There's only so much pressure that can be contained.  Oops!  Then, there it is... something foolish I've said just hanging in midair and I can't even take it back!
However, I am different, too, because I understand the root.  It is not necessary to be right and who do I think I am that my way should be the best way things are done.  Why should I care what people think?  Why should it bother me when I feel like my kids are not supported or cared for or treated equally? Is it really important to get "my fair share?"  The key word, however, is feel.  Feelings are based on our frail flesh, not biblical truth.  Not that we can't feel, but we should  never use our emotions as an excuse to misbehave, as I have done in the past.  I also know, not being perfect, that I'm likely to allow it to happen again.  It's tough for sure!
Obviously feelings and emotions serve a purpose because the Lord, the CREATOR, created them. Herein lies the understanding.  If people would just get it, how much easier would life be!  I'm very tired of this game of who is better at what and my kid is better than yours, smarter than yours, prettier, faster- WHO cares?  WHO cares because in the end, you can't take any of that with you to eternity.  It does not one bit of good!  Our identity should be in Christ, not ourselves or our accomplishments or our FEELINGS.  Once a person cracks open God's word and this is revealed, the outcome is freedom! FREEDOM from the bondage of self-righteousness and pride!  I know I'm guilty of giving myself much more credit than I deserve. Who do I think I am?  I do ask, though, before you judge me, to examine your own heart and your own motives.  Does it make you feel better to belittle others?  Does it elevate your ego?  I confess that I have felt that way in the past.  That's NOT what life is about, though.  This is a journey to eternity.  I know where I want mine to be, and I know it is a struggle each day to stay on this path.  It's narrow- even the bible says it is.  It's beautiful though AND, despite it being narrow, we can all fit because we are all in different places of our walk. Think about it today and join me.

Who am I that the Lord of ALL the earth would care to know my name?

Proverbs 3:5-6 (New International Version)

 ⁵ Trust in the LORD with all your heart
       and lean not on your own understanding;
 ⁶ in all your ways acknowledge him,
       and he will make your paths straight.

Be Still and Know that I am God

Today I drove up to Merchantville.  The best route from my house was to take Egg Harbor Road, to Delsea Drive, to 55 north, to 130 north.  Have you EVER driven any of those roads?  There's something about NJ driving.  IT IS CRAZY!!!   On 55, there's a portion where the speed limit is 65 mph. THAT is fast! It IS!!  So, I set my cruise control because I CANNOT get a ticket! I'm petrified to speed. (not when I was younger, but now I am!)  So, I'm driving and cars are zooming past me! It's simply insane! Often, if I'm in the car alone I pray, and today was no different.  As I pray and watched the cars speed by and weave in and out of the two lanes going who knows how fast, I couldn't help hear a still small voice tell me to "be still". Suddenly, my mind was transported and I saw myself weaving in and out of my life.  I go from one activity to the next.  One child needs to be at point A, one at point B, and the other at point C, oh, and so & so is coming over in a 1/2 hour.  Oh, my, then I remember I have to go food shopping and need to stop at church to pick something up- oh no- drop something off.  Jeepers!  I forgot to get Don's dry cleaning!  Oh, wait, whose birthday gift do I need to buy?  Oh my- I missed Kevin's allergy shots.  Contacts, braces, check ups, pharmacy, etc. Tuition is due when? It's how much? Your pointe shoes are already too small?  Tap shoes- got it! Oh- Kevin needs a tennis racket and has outgrown his sneakers.  So obviously, not only does traffic race, but so does my mind. CONSTANT thoughts running around and around- never ending. Anxiety, worry, concern, plans, places, people, church, VBS, weight watchers, exercise, who will I disappoint.  Am I crazy? My head hurts! My body aches! On and on and on!!
Despite this insanity, I feel the presence of something bigger, more beautiful, more powerful, more loving, more compassionate, more understanding, more GOD, than anything else in the universe. "Be Still," He tells me.  "Be still MY CHILD.  Quiet this nonsense.  Settle your soul. Come to me.  My yoke is easy and my burden is light.  Cast your cares on me. I am the fortress and rock, an ever-present help in times of trouble.
You can't do this alone, but I am here. I CAN DO THIS.  Be still."
To quote the wisdom of George Lopez, I hear my Lord calling to me, "I got this!"

Not going so well

I wrote this in March:

So, I've been going to the gym since January and we're almost in April.  I have not lost 1 (one) pound.  I find it very discouraging at times.  Maybe I just have to accept the way I look?  I am afterall, almost 42.   I have found something that I really enjoy, though, and that's the cycling class.  I don't know what it is?  I guess because I can customize it to my fitness level and feel some level of achievement each class I go to.  It also is nice too that my friend is one of the instructors, so it is safe!!  I tend to worry about what people think of me, but with Michelle as the teacher, I'm good!!

I've gotten lots of advice from how many calories to intake and how many to burn.  My trainer insinuates that I make excuses for not being able to go more often.  He doesn't have 3 kids, either.  I have one with many food allergies, another with 2 food allergies and a lot of sinus problems, and my oldest now suffering from mono.  Do you have any idea what dinner time alone is like at our house?  I easily make 3 separate meals.  Forget about how much my girls dance!!  Amy will be 8 1/2 hours and Kayli is 8 hours per week.  They go to competitions and just had a huge production!! Kevin is now playing sports and Don works a lot, so I take him.  In addition to that, I'm trying to substitute part time.  That's not going so well, either.  I either don't get called, or it's a job I can't do because of my kids' schedules.  I don't mind all this, but don't tell me I'm not crazy busy.  Books have been suggested for me to read, too.  Doctors to go see.  I just don't have the time or resources to do all of these things.  So, is it worth it?

There are other things I enjoy taking care of, too, but that's between God and me! We won't get into all that, but most of you know that I Co-direct the Children's Ministry programs at my church.  I take that very seriously, so it takes time, too.

So, here I am.  The same exact weight I was 3 months ago.  I'm still not enjoying my jeans! LOL... but, maybe some day.

Life and a 5 pound bag of potatoes!

So today, I have so much on my mind.  I had a car load of little girls last night who were a mixture of giddy and frustrated.  They were giddy because they do enjoy each other's company, but frustrated for other reasons which I will leave unsaid. (Quite honestly, I've been struggling with what to do regarding this very same frustration, so prayers would be SO appreciated)  Anyway, back to my heavy mind.  I hardly slept and of COURSE I have a million and one things to do today, but If I DO NOT write this, I think my brain will explode OR it will get lost in the recesses of my worldly worries.    As I stood pealing 5 lbs of potatoes today, I couldn't help think that pealing those potatoes was very much like my Christian walk- well, anyone's Christian walk.  Let me explain. I am reminded of John 15. (http://niv.scripturetext.com/john/15.htm).  Jesus speaks of the vine and the branches and how the branches must be pruned in order to grow.  You cannot leave what is dead on the vine! So, there sat on my counter a five pound bag of potatoes.
You've gotten potatoes at the store, right?  No matter how well you check that bag, there's always imperfection! ALWAYS!  That doesn't mean that your salad will be spoiled.  In the end, you can still make a great potato salad, but you have to get rid of the rotten unsightly stuff.  So, I filled the pot with water, turned on the stove, and began to peal and cut.  Each potato was different.   Some were round, some oval, some skinny, some huge- like people!  Almost EVERY SINGLE one had something wrong, though, whether it was a little touch of dirt, a rotten spot, or an "eye".  The water began to boil and I continue with my pealing, pealing, slicing slicing, digging, cutting, and shaping.  As I cut off the dead sections, the nice smooth white potato began to emerged!  Friends, that's what life is about here on this planet.  We ALL fall short; we all have rotten spots.  In Romans 3, it is VERY clear.  The bible says we "all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God."(Romans 3:23)  We are created or grown- just like the potato- dirty and unsightly until we are pealed and fixed up.  We all have sin in our lives, rotten spots like the potatoes.  
Here's the good news.  We have a Creator who loves us enough to send us someone to save us!  Like I did with those potatoes, which I could have left to rot ( I did do that with another bag, by the way, that I forgot about in the garage- THAT was nasty-)  but, I continued to remove the rotten spots so the potato was somewhat good- but only because of me.  It will never be perfect because there are marks where the rot once was, a scar or two from the journey.  Just like we have scars, so does our Savior.  He understands!  So, as my heavy mind drags me down and I get lost in the worries of this trivial petty world, join me in celebrating because this life is temporary.  Some day, we ALL will die... like my potatoes that went into the boiling water after I cleaned them up.  It hurts, but in the end, the salad will be GREAT as will we someday when our Savior returns for us.  It HURTS to have the rotten parts removed.  It's painful and trials are so hard for our human hearts to bear.  But, the bible says to cast your cares upon the Lord! His yoke is easy and His burden is light! (Psalm 55:22, Matthew 11:30)  I am thankful for that because I just don't know how you really find true joy in this awful world without knowing the LOVE of a savior.  Everyone needs a savior.  THANK GOD!  So, whatever is on your mind today, think about this and meditate on it.  Also, I am the greatest sinner, as Paul said in 1 Timothy, "This is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners; of whom I am chief .“—I Tim. 1:15.  


Be blessed and be a blessing today!

SPINNING!!

So, back in January I joined a gym.  I was really excited.  Don and I worked out together.  I had a trainer- this was the time!!  Things didn't work out.  My trainer, though a very nice guy, was training me like I was going to be a starting linebacker for a professional football team.  HUGE blow to my enthusiasm.  But, OK.  I found the Spinning class that I enjoyed so much.  In the middle of all this, Kayli developed mono and Amy sprained her foot.  I got some kind of insect bite that needed to be treated with an antibiotic that caused me to be sicker than if I'd actually gotten Lyme's disease.  I also had a problem with my feet and found out that I have a deformed left foot! SSSOOO, I have not been to the gym since  April.  I'm ready, now, though.  I've purchased the proper cycling shoes- mesh so they stretch and breathe for my deformed left foot.   Now, just pray that I have the stamina to make it through the class.  I hear the instructor is brutal!!  (Just kidding, my friend- you're the best!) Also in the meantime, I joined weight watchers.  I'll tell you that I don't like this slow metabolism over 40 thing! It stinks!!! I have to fight for every stinkin' ounce!!!  I'm tired, but I'm determined, so in less that 1/2 hour from now, I'll be clipping my bike shoe onto that pedal to bike my way  back to a slender, healthier me!!!

What I FEEL like:

What I WANT to feel like:

The Place We Long For

For those who say such things declare plainly that they seek a homeland.

— Hebrews 11:14

I am navigationally challenged, so I like having a GPS to help keep me from getting lost. But I read about a Wisconsin motorist who actually ended up on a snowmobile trail because her GPS led her in the wrong direction. She ended up stuck in the snow and had to call 911. A deputy who responded to the call said, "People shouldn't believe everything those things tell you."

A GPS can fail us. But that isn't the case with the sophisticated homing instinct God has given to certain birds. Their built-in navigational systems are probably better than our latest technology. The Manx Shearwater, for example, nests off of the coast of Wales and has an amazing homing instinct. Scientists tagged and released a number of these birds at different points around the globe to see whether they could find their way back home. In just 12 days, all the birds made their way back. One bird in particular made it all the way from Boston, traveling 250 miles a day from a place it had never been to get back home. Now that is what you call a homing instinct.

God has placed a homing instinct within you and I as well, and I believe it is a homesickness for heaven. We long for a place we have never been before. We are prewired that way. The Bible tells us that God has put eternity in our hearts (see Ecclesiastes 3:11).

Heaven is the real thing that we long for. Heaven is not an imitation of Earth, but it is really the other way around. Earth is the copy, the temporary dwelling place. Heaven is the real deal, the eternal dwelling place of every follower of Jesus Christ. It is the place we long for, because it is our future home. 

The Gym

So, my trainer is Will.  He kicked my butt..Well, actually my back, but my poor arms hurt.. A LOT.  You know what, though.  Even though I sweat and even though it hurts- a lot- I'm not dead. LOL.  I survived.  I go back next Tuesday at 10:30.

Working out

Today I have my very first appointment with a trainer at the gym.  I'm excited at the prospect of getting in shape and looking and feeling better, but am horrified at what I'll have to do to get there.  I don't like to sweat!

Just as an update, even being sick last week, I did manage to get there to work out and at least do the treadmill a little tiny bit!  It's better than nothing, right?  I don't see any physical changes and don't have a scale, so I don't know-  I'll let the professionals handle that.

Don has been making me go with him every night.  THAT is good.  I really need a push!  I SO want to look like those ladies with no bellies and pretty arms!  I SO want that extra chin and fat neck to go away!!  I so want way less giggle in my hiney and thighs!  I WANT it.  Don always says, WANT power is WILL power.   I'll get there...   My goal is to look WAY better by the time we go to OBX in August.

Your job?  All I ask is for a little bit of prayer!  I'd really love to see if I can get off the cholesterol meds... Might not because it seems to be hereditary, but I can try!

OK... off to get ready!  I'll blog later to let  you know how it went.  I'm SURE I'll have a story!

Be blessed today, friends!!!

When You're Worried

Greg Laurie is one of my favorite speakers.  This is one of his daily devotions.


When You're Worried

From the end of the earth I will cry to You, when my heart is overwhelmed; lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
— Psalm 61:2


Without question, life is full of troubles. We have concerns about our future, concerns about our health, concerns about our family, concerns about our finances, and the list goes on. Things happen that scare us—and sometimes even terrify us. There are things that concern us, things that alarm us, and things that cause us to be filled with anxiety.

Everyone worries a little. We all have anxiety. I admit that I worry, and I don't say that proudly. Worry is not a virtue. In fact, it can be a sin in which we are failing to trust in God. So I have a suggestion: the next time you are tempted to worry, pray instead.

Prayer is the way by which God helps us to overcome our anxiety and worry. We are told in Philippians 4:6–7, "Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus" (NLT).

Maybe God will take your problem away. That is possible. Then again, maybe He won't. But here is what happens: you get perspective. You see God for who He is, and thus you see your problem for what it is. If you have a big God, then you have a relatively small problem. But if you have a big problem, it may be that you have a small God, because you are not seeing Him in His glory and for what He can do.

Prayer gives us His peace and His strength to help us get through whatever it is we are dealing with. That is what God does for the person who will call on Him.

The first day of the rest of my life......

OK... so that's a bit cliche'. EVERYONE uses that phrase, but if you think about it, it is true. There comes a point when a person decides, "I cannot keep living this way!". That is where I am. It is SO difficult around here to have "mommy" time, but it is a MUST. Today, Don and I will decide on a gym. I've thought long and hard regarding what I'm looking for. I need good hours. Curves was only open select hours and closed at 8:00 M-Th, 7:30 on Fridays was open only until the afternoon on Saturday and closed on Sunday. When you consider the amount of running around I do with and for the kids, there was no time for me to get there. So, I need a gym that is OPEN! Then I had to think about what kind of services? We watch Biggest Loser and I believe that one of the reasons those people are successful is because someone else is kicking their proverbial and literal BUTTS! I need that. So, two things will happen. I'll find a gym with instruction and go with my hubby! LOTS of accountability there!! I also get bored, so I need variety. I am looking for a gym with instructors and lots of different classes. At Curves, there was one circuit that I did 2X. That was the routine every time I went. I got bored.
The second part of all this is food. I, unfortunately, LOVE food. It is also my worst enemy. Amy is allergic to milk and eggs. Kevin is allergic to soy, peas, beans, grapefruit, peanuts, corn- Meals cause me distress. By the time I'm done fixing meals for them, and then a low carb diet for Donny... I'm pooped! Oh, did I mention I'm supposed to be on a special diet? I have a condition called Interstitial Cystitis. I SHOULD be on a very low acid diet. The other problem is my cholesterol is genetically high, so I should also be on a high fiber, lower fat diet. That doesn't leave me much to eat. SO, the second part of my goal is to find that happy place in my daily nutrition intake.

I have my work cut out for me. It will not be easy by any means, but it is something that must be done. With a lot of prayer and determination to get my back, I am confident that the picture for next Christmas Eve will look much, much different! This is not acceptable!

So, friends, happy New Year and God bless you!

I can do it!! Right?

So, that's where I am. Today IS the first day of the rest of my life.

Christmas 2009

This was the first year in a long time that we waited for such a short period of time! I guess we got to the mall at just exactly the right moment! Anyway, the usual conversations took place. "Kevin, what will you ask Santa for?", "Kayli how about you?", "Amy, what do you want?" "Where should we go out to dinner?", "Wow, look! That's the REAL Santa". You all know what I'm talking about. Do you know, though, that not once in our Chritmasy conversation did anyone mention the incarnation of Jesus- THE Christ! I just wanted a cute picture for my new mantle. I just wanted to see my son's face as he approached this legendary figure and wanted to see the magic. The magic. That is what Christmas has become. What about the real gift? What about the miracle? What about why we really celebrate Christmas. Granted, Christmas is not commanded by the bible. In fact, the celebration of the tradition has pagan roots- not even Christian. Do we even know when Jesus was really born? Apparently, that is not what is important. What IS important is that God made himself human and left his throne to walk among His sinful creation. A PERFECT, HOLY, MIGHTY. RIGHTEOUS God! Jesus, to whom we all sing and adore was born to suffer and die. What a humbling thought! So, I ask myself, "Would I do the same? Would I knowingly step into a situation that I KNEW lead to pain and depair and humiliation?" The answer, most likely I would not. I can't even stand to make a mistake in my checkbook. Do you realize the profound and deep love of our God to allow this to happen? Could you stand by and watch your child be stripped both physically and emotionally. Could you stand by and watch him get beaten, bruised, battered, spat upon, cursed at, whipped, defiled, humiliated, MURDERED for no apparent crime. This is what God did for us sinful, prideful, weak, and fallen children. Remember. Remember.

My life reduced to boxes

My tribute to an old friend; a comfortable place to rest; a safe place; a warm companion - If these walls could speak! Oh, if they could!  What would they say???  Lots of good times - lots of sad times - lots of angry times- lots of exciting times- lots of silly times - lots of lazy times- lots of selfish times - lots of wasted time AND time well spent - lots of time tending to the needs of others- lots of time taking care of sick children- lots of time preparing dinners, lunches, breakfasts- lots of time doing homework- lots of time laughing - lots of time crying- lots of time.

So, now we are just about packed. I must admit, I am happy at the prospect of a larger home, but I do love this house! We spent our very first night as Mr. & Mrs. Colligan here; all my babies came home here; two pets lived here; new windows; new siding; new kitchen; new floors- just the way I like it. I know where everything is. Each little dent and each little mark has a story. Every fingerprint on the front door and smudge on the windows has a story.


Life is funny and each turn brings about a new chapter. Am I ready to turn the page?
I know every street; All the trees are familiar -every leaf, every flower. All the cracks in the sidewalks are reminders of what life has been.

I used to ride my bike on these streets; then I drove my car on these streets; then I walked my babies in strollers on these streets; now my kids ride their bikes on these streets and I drive up and down taking them to each activity and friend's house! Familiar faces; familiar cars; familiar houses. Comfort. Contentment.


In one week, all that will change. Five men will come into my home and carry all these boxes out and put them onto trucks. Each box contains valuable memories, useful household items, practical clothing, dependable shoes - each priceless in its own way. Then, all that will be left will be floors and walls and an echo. Then the men will drive away with all my stuff. At 9:00 AM on Wednesday, November 4, I will sign away my home of 15 years.



I've come to the point now, where I realize that all our memories and happy feelings are in those boxes and in the precious people who live here. At 2:00 PM that same day, we will sign the papers to begin that new chapter. New walls, new floors, new memories! Every single box will then be transported on those big trucks, and the five men will proceed to take each and every precious piece of furniture, and every single precious box and move them into the next chapter of our lives for us. It's scary and new and strange, but change is good sometimes. I will miss this old house and my wonderful friends who I am proud to say are also my neighbors, but I'm ready for the challenge! I am ready to turn the page.


Soon, the boxes will be gone, and we'll be just another family living in just another house that we will call home. No longer will we be reduced to boxes, but a living, breathing, and loving family with some new walls.  We will still have our friends; we will still have our stuff; we will still have each other long after all the boxes are gone.

To Every Thing There is a Season

Ecclesiastes 3

There is a time for everything,

and a season for every activity under heaven:

2 a time to be born and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to uproot,

3 a time to kill and a time to heal,

a time to tear down and a time to build,

4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,

a time to mourn and a time to dance,

5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

6 a time to search and a time to give up,

a time to keep and a time to throw away,


7 a time to tear and a time to mend,

a time to be silent and a time to speak,


8 a time to love and a time to hate,

a time for war and a time for peace.


New International Version (NIV)

No One is Righteous.. No, Not one! Romans 3: 10

What shall we conclude then? Are we any betterb? Not at all! We have already made the charge that Jews and Gentiles alike are all under sin. 10As it is written:
“There is no one righteous, not even one;
11there is no one who understands,
no one who seeks God.
12All have turned away,
they have together become worthless;
there is no one who does good,
not even one.”c
13“Their throats are open graves;
their tongues practice deceit.”d
“The poison of vipers is on their lips.”e
14“Their mouths are full of cursing and bitterness.”f
15“Their feet are swift to shed blood;
16ruin and misery mark their ways,
17and the way of peace they do not know.”g
18“There is no fear of God before their eyes.”h

Have you ever found that you are held to a higher standard because of your faith? I have. Have you ever noticed how people love it and gloat when a Christian messes up? I have. Have you ever experienced the unforgiveness of someone when you have blown it? I have. The good news, though, it that we are all sinners. Every single one of us falls short of the glory of God.

I find myself daily missing the mark. I might say something stupid. Maybe, I let my emotions get the best of me. Sometimes, I even envy others and covet their blessings! It's terrible! I ask the Lord to show me my heart, but it's ugly. UGLY I say! I know it; my Christian brethren know it, but why not the rest of the world? Well, I can only conclude in my teeny tiny unintelligent mind that it is because those who belong to this world find the things of God foolishness. It hurts to see my sin up on that cross! It hurts to look into the deepest, darkest, dingiest places of the farthest reaches of my very being to see what is there. Hopeful that some day that would vanish, I press on toward the prize. But, am I a blessing or a curse? I find that I have to reevaluate this on a constant basis! What is my purpose? Who am I? What in the world am I doing? Why do I say stupid things or do stupid things or write even dumber things? Well, plain and simple, I'm a sinner. So, folks, like it or not, for those of you who don't buy into Christianity, I am a sinner! I do mess up. Christian is not equal to perfection. If anything, Christian equates to admitting your weakness and frailty. Weak and frail- that's me. I can boast in this though: Thank GOD I have a savior! Thank GOD He made a way for me to confess and repent and to seek righteousness. Thank GOD HE had a plan- a perfect plan! I'm sorry if you find the bible foolish; I really am. I'm sorry if you cannot grasp the idea of a holy perfect man taking the punishment for undeserving sinners! I'm so, so sorry. It is for you that I pray!

So, I beg for your forgiveness and I lift you in prayer to MY SAVIOR - He could be yours. All it takes is admitting you are a sinner- search your heart. Believing in who Jesus Christ is and what He's done and that He rose from the dead. Confessing your sin and that He is Lord and Savior. So, don't go by me; read your bible. He will show you. I'm just an imperfect, weak, frail, sinner who makes loads of mistakes despite her desire to be more like Him. Be blessed today, won't you?

Which Crown do I want to wear?

What does one associate a crown with? Royalty? Power? Riches? Wealth? Luxury? Social Status? Tradition? Ruling? Sovereignty?Inheritance? It could be any of those possibly more. Lately, I have found myself asking the question, though, which crown do I want to wear? So you ask yourself, "Tracy has access to a jeweled piece of priceless headgear?" I would boldly answer that I do! I do indeed, for I am an heiress! Again, you ask, "Tracy has access to a kingdom? She's a heiress to an empire?" I would boldly answer that I do! Still confused?
Let's back up a little, and dig deep into this feeling I've been having lately. It is no secret that I am a devout, publicly professed, baptized Christian. I believe in God's Word. I believe that Jesus Christ is God's only begotten Son. I believe that Jesus Christ bore the punishment for all past, present and future sinful believers when He hung on that cross over 2000 years ago. I believe that I am saved by grace through my faith. I believe that the grace I have experienced is irresistible and that I have been called according to God's purpose. You get it; I BELIEVE?
However, sometimes just saying that I believe is not enough. I've reached a point in my walk with the Lord where I realize I cannot sit and passively be changed by the Lord. I have responsibility! He knows already and He even knows what the future holds, but I don't! So, back to the beginning, what crown do I want to wear?

Do I want the crown of self-indulgence? It would appear that way by how I look. Do I want the crown of acceptance among my mortal peers? It would appear that way by how I behave? Do I want to wear the crown of authority? It would appear that way by how I can't let go of things. So, really, when I dig down deep, what crown do I want to wear? I want to wear the one that Jesus wears. I want to be like HIM? I want to forgive. I want to accept things for what they are. I want to help people seek God's kingdom and receive His grace. I want to be like Jesus. I want to be patient, kind, helpful, peaceful, loving and most importantly, UNCONDITIONAL! No strings attached. "Love as I have loved you," He said. These are the jewels I seek. All other treasure just gets in the way and cause me to stumble on my walk. It is the better way! It is.

When I hold onto those worldly crowns, it causes pain! It causes grief. It causes sorrow. It causes competitiveness. It causes strife and anger. Why would I desire those things? They are of this fallen world, not of God- not of Jesus. He was not just a wise teacher. He was not just a mere moral man. He was not just a good guy. He was, is and ever shall be our king. Nations will bow; mountains will fall into the sea; the earth will shake and the sky will fall when He returns. I then, will get to wear that crown for eternity.

That is the crown I want to wear.

Great, mighty Creator & Lord, dethrone me. Strip me of all that is impure and not of You. Empty me. Fill me with You. Crown me with YOUR crown. It is in Your mighty, holy, powerful and precious name that i pray. Amen

Reflection

The bible says when one door closes another one opens up. That's been my saving grace these past few weeks. With so much uncertainty and "business" in selling and buying a house, it is difficult to know what is "right" and it is SO difficult to be a truly honest person without getting taken advantage of. I know the Lord is on my side and has my back though as He always has. He constantly teaches me lessons in life and I am SO thankful He is not finished with me yet. Sometimes the lessons are very painful. He rejoices and shows me what I do right, but then I pray that dreaded prayer - Lord, show me my sin. Show me my heart. THAT is where you have to face the side of you that others criticize and talk about when you aren't looking. That side that I want to keep hidden behind a locked door. That side that I desperately want to defend, but know I cannot because sometimes, "it is my fault". Those are difficult words to say especially out loud. So, I apologize. I don't know what else to say. Sometimes, my shortcomings are much larger than "shortcomings". They are "tallcomings"- really, really big. The best I can do is say I'm sorry and by the grace of God strive to do better. It hurts to see my dark inward self, but Praise the Lord, that Jesus has covered my sin and I stand before the Father as though I never messed up. THANK GOD! So, if you have been injured by my shortcomings, know that the Lord is not finished with me yet. As long as I breathe, He's working on me. So, please forgive me! When I'm perfect, I'll be Home.

Happy Birthday Uncle Daddy

Today is Don's and John's Birthday and I had all the kids here this morning. The girls were 'hangin' out and they made this little music video. Enjoy!

Colligan Golf Outing 2009

Don and Mark traveled down to West Melbourne, Florida once again for the 3rd annual Colligan Golf Outing. While there, they also helped Johnny V celebrate making his confirmtion. Don is his sponsor. Great times!